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A Warped View

Posted on: May 25, 2012

Just a quick story to illustrate my DH’s very warped thinking. 

Every Mother’s Day we buy gift for my mum, my gran, his mum and his aunt.  This year we decided to buy a gift for DH’s cousin as well.  She lives a few minutes away from us and whenever she cooks or bakes something yummy, she sends some over to us.  And is always buying us little gifts from the flea market etc 

Anyway, we invited them over on Mother’s Day, they couldn’t make it, so we decided to deliver her gift a few days later.  As we got to the house, we saw DH’s other cousin also there.  So I felt really guilty, giving a gift to one cousin and not the other.  But DH said “But why are you feeling guilty she’s not a mother?” !?!?!?  I was flabbergasted.  The cousin in question married late in life, and never had children.  And I do know that she has regrets about it, but at 50, it’s a bit late for her.  And I said to him, so why did you buy ME a gift, I’m not a mother either.  And his response was that I was “taking care of a child” (Foster Kid) so that made it ok. 

I am such a firm believer that every woman is a mother in some way.  And it made me so sad to think that DH had such a narrow definition of what constitutes a mother.  If we are never able to have children (and we never had Foster Kid) then I would have absolutely no claim to motherhood. 


Anyway, here’s Day 9 and 10 of the Blog Challenge.

 Day 9:
What was the first baby or pregnancy-related purchase you ever made? Was it before or after you started trying to conceive? Or was it after you were already pregnant? Why did you choose that particular item to buy first? If you haven’t purchased anything yet, why not? 

I have never made any baby –related purchases, mainly because I am just too scared to do so.  Like tempting fate?  What if I buy stuff, and the IVF fails and I have to give my baby’s clothes away to someone else ?!!?  That would just be too heartbreaking. 

However, my mum has mentioned buying something, as a sign to the universe that I mean business about this baby-making thing.  And I think I might just do that.  Kinda the same concept as a vision board, which I am thinking of doing too.

Day 10:
Other than the song “I Would Die For That,” post a video of a song that has special meaning to you and your infertility journey. Explain it, if you’re comfortable doing so.

 I have no particular song that has a special meaning.  However during my 2WW (1st IVF) I had a new phone with about 10 songs on it, and when I was stressed I would go to my room, put the earphones on and listen to those songs.  And sing along.  And say “Look babies, look what beauty there is in this world.  So grow babies grow”  Guess they didn’t quite like my choice in music.  Anyway, these days whenever I listen to any of those songs I am reminded of my 2WW. 

This time around, I have a whole iPOD full of music.  And I’m going to expose them to all types of music.  Hopefully they approve 😉



2 Responses to "A Warped View"

I agree… every woman is a mother in some way. I didn’t really appreciate that until the last few years and hearing so many stories of love for children here, gone or never been. Love to you always xoxo

I love that you have such an open definition or what makes a mother.

ICLW #65

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